No feel to blog

I lost the feel to blog few days back. I really dunno what to blog.... Not much event happen recently... But a lot of "things" happening in my mind.....

I'm lost..... I'm heading nowhere. Just walking aimlessly around. The end of school means the start of work. The start of work is fine if u know what u want to do. But i dunno what i want to be....

First, i have to do something that my dad agree. I know i can have my own life, i can do what i want, but at the end of the day, i still want my dad to agree and support what i'm doing. He's someone i always seek for advice or when i'm in doubt.

I love animals. so i always though of doing something related to them. Zoo keepers, trainers, especially training dolphin since they are my favourite animals. Maybe working as a veterinarian cuz it's 1 of my ambition since young. But working as a veterinarian require a good qualification, arhh.... impossible mission.... *sad*

Fashion designer. When i was secondary 1, i did something that most ppl at my age wun be doing. After school, i would visit the newly open "book shop", kinokuniya, at taka and head for the fashion design section. I spent the rest of the day staying at the section reading all the books that i have picked [I've studied the victorian style of dressing and the 80's style]. Of cuz, it's not an everyday routine, so i've tried to visit there if i can. It's a truely good experience for me.
I imagined the type of clothes that i'm gonna design, the hair style that i'm gonna cut and etc. After a few years, the concepts that i had in mind were used by others. My ideas were taken by them. i was so young then..... If only i'm older, probably i'll be the youngest fashion designer around. haha.... =P
Becuz of the above incident, i have no confidence in doing fashion design anymore. My dad wun agreed it anyway..... *sad*

So, when i was in primary sch, i wanted to be a veterinarian. In secondary sch, i wanted to be a fashion designer. Before i hit poly life, i wanted to do something about hotel management [like Hotel PRO?]. That's why i wanted to study hospitality. Life is unpredictable, and it ended up that i'm in school of IT. Something that i never expected that i would study.

Partly, it's becuz i'm lazy and ill discipined[ wrong spelling] which speaks of my detestable school result. Always ending up doing something that i dislike. Nevertheless, i'll just try to make the best out of it.

Actually i had planned to learn Japanese language and Baking after i graduate. But i need money. I need money to learn all these courses, i need money to attain higher education level [study sim, i dunn wanna use my dad's money] . I wanted to learn diving too [so that i can dive with my dolphins]. Money is a neccessarities, so i need to go out work. [forgotten about my japan trip] I always have phobia working. I have lost touch working in the society since 2003, which is 3 years back.

So the problem comes, what job should i apply for?? Or which kind of job aspect should i aim?

*my eyes are closing.... gotta go out shopping tmr. dunn wanna be late. So i'll continue another day. nite peeps *