Time on My Own

Not exactly a smooth sailing weekend and i just became a big emotional wrecker today. I cried I smile I Mad and the whole processes repeat again.

So what happen?

Had a big fight with Eric today. I consider big cuz we never had such heated quarrel. It's my "i-dunn-want-to-say" problem. what does it means?

I'm not those kind of ang-mo style kid who will say right at your face that i'm unhappy and etc. I am not a hypocites, just that i am totally not used to converse my feelings into words. Perhaps it's a since-young-thingy, my inner thought will only turns out to be an action instead. Opening my mouth to say my inner thoughts is like you strike a toto first prize but things later on of cuz gets ugly.

Anyway i dunn have to elaborate what happened before or after that, all these always end up with my tears flowing down my cheeks. I'm still hurt in my heart of cuz.

But at a point of time, it suddenly seems that we're not meant for each other? Single life seems much more satsifying and fulfilling as an individual. And i finally know what i need in the end.

I need space and time on my own.

It could be exam period and all these stress causing me to lose control over my life. I'm feeling lethargy, fat and ugly. Thus a day or 2 on my own might be the best healing process for me.

All these can be consider after 10 Nov but right now i think i need to hit the bed soon.

Left 1 day for me to study and in fact i just merely browse through that pages today only. I think even God might not even help me.

The only thing he can help me now, dunn lemme fall sick. I had been coughing non-stop and it hurts my tummy.

I am changing my way of thinking that Love is not just because he loves you (and you love him back) but to Love the person I found and Love the way I am. I hope he will too. =) because i still love you darling! (*sound mushy to you all) haha!