I want to live alone

Tried to keep myself happy since eve of National day. Until yesterday, i knew i wasn't...

Really glad that Ari came to my house yesterday, and divert my mood so that i won't think about it so much. Had a great time with her shopping for make-up, shoes and food. Although the food didn't taste that great [all instant food =X], we manage to finish the food. After dinner, ari uses my com and i was watching Project superstar. Had a little chat before i send ari to bus stop with niu niu.

The movivation to live alone grows stronger in me. I want to be alone. Never in my life wanted freedom so much. Since young, I had always wish to live alone and never yearns for freedom greatly. And that little wish grow so much now. All these were of cuz triggered by something...

My Granny. Because of her, everything in my life ain't the same. I had to broke off from my usual routine. I had to be so much in control when she's around. Cant do this cant do that... Life shouldn't be in this way. A online friend once told me "Life is short-lived. You won't know when you will kick that bucket" Of cuz everyone agree and so do i.

I know i had blog about her recently, but the feeling in me is so intense that i need some ways to release it. Where, Who and how?

Had been troubling my friends, Ari, Robin, Mervin, Carol. Thanks all of you so much for your concern and advice. I know not all of you were be able to read this, but from the buttom of my heart i thank you.

I'm so guilt-sicken, for goodness sick [don't care whether my spelling is correct]... I know zatto had been trying to endure all my nonsense and that i felt that i had been ill treating him. I hate myself. For being that bad girlfriend. But don't worry, i'll make it all up on our anniversary. =)

Don't worry pals, i'm alright. Just that i'll just go a little more crazy, a little more emotional, a little more aggressive. =P

Still i need some ways to get rid of my problems... I need a miracle!