My head is throbbing with pain
My pride is wound
My heart is hurt
My soul is lost
Nothing is getting better even ice cream taste not sweet. Suicide thoughts come and go. I know i shouldnt be thinking of that cause it's not healthy.
When you don't wanna go home, you can always stayed at work. But when work place is some place you dunn wanna go, life becomes meaningless. My current job is something i used to quite enjoy especially all my wonderful colleagues. Ever since the downfall of financial institutions across the world, my life had never been peaceful. Works piles on when your colleagues got axed and all are distributed across different depts to help out. All of us worked so hard and all we got are efficiency lvls way below expectations. All your boss care is number! Fucking numbers! Cause the better the numbers, they got results to show they are capable and able to take a higher position and higher pay.
I'm so tired... Continuously doing all these crazy works and numbers nv seems to increase.
Quitting seems like a loser and staying makes me crazy... Life is definitely contradicting.
Ever since i start working, i felt i've change so much that i cant recognised myself. I've turned greedy, aunties-style, fat, never-contented-life, selfish, inconsiderate and many many more.
Lost myself along the way... =(
After crying at dear's house just now, it's time to pick up the mess....
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