Meaningless Life

Change is coming... and i can feel it.


Sorry to all my best friends, that i've gone MIA for a while. Lifes been quite a mess for me. Project deadline and continuous lesson since start of this year, six month passed and i felt that my body is probably gonna give up sooner or later. I dunno how long i can withstand all these pressure from study, work and the invisible stress from my parents.

I miss you too Arii! Sorry for not replying to your msg cause i realised that only after 2am and i dunn really want to wake you up with my reply. Having a good sleep will bring you a better day ahead. Life is already bad enough for us to work and study at the same time.

Project is finally over! At least for my part. Assignment due latest by next monday and havent started anything yet.

I've never been so mentally tired. Over the past months, i resisted shopping, resisted having good food, resisted most R&R hobbies. Everyday just worried about my projects, assignments and work. I felt so bad for neglecting my best friends, my dogs and my family. And my dear Eric had to endure my unstable moods. Sorry baby for shouting you at times. I just felt that i dunn have enough inner strength to hold on to myself.

Not many ppl know that i've transferred to another dept and working on a totally different product/scope. My team leader had been nice to me and she look/felt exactly like my aunt. Even though my new colleagues are really nice and patient with me, i'm still not happy.


Exam result will be released tomorrow and i have yet to come with a conclusion if i pass or fail. I really really wish i can pursuit on stuffs that makes me happy! A fun working environment, work that is my passion and love and enjoy the fruits of my labour. Sometimes i hate myself for pulling everyone into my consideration. If only i can be selfish enough, brave enough...

I dunn think i have the courage to view my exam result. Perhaps i should wait till i'm ready?

Time to sleep.