Nervous Stomach

Ranting!!


It's not something new to me that my body reflected my feelings, but it's really hard to control feelings too. Obviously, my stomach is the weakest and had to endure all sort of nonsense that i'm feeling. Had to skip lessons today cuz i keep visiting the toilet more than 5 times today until my knees go weak. Due to work and i had to leave late for sch and the estimate travelling time was extended to nearly 1 hour. i knew i couldnt control for such a long trip, thus i headed back home.


So what am i feeling??


Nervous!


Exam result is supposely to release on 4th June, but till now i only received 1 out of 3. This was caused by some strike gg on at Australia unions strike which indirectly affected us as a result. And worst news of all, the only result i received is my most feared module of all, Commercial Law. Despite knowing that i will fail completely, i still hope that there's miracle in this world. Sadly, this miracle i hope for didn't fall on me... =(



I was devastated and broke down again. Seriously, my self-esteem is affected too. No matter how hard i try, how many times i reminded myself, i still cant even manage a pass. Since i started school, i've never try so hard ever in my life for my studies. But why when i put in so much effort, all i can see is only a pass or bearly a credit? I'm just such a loser!


I really really wish i could stop working and just concentrate on my studies. Get a better score and spend more time reading on my materials. How can i excel in my studies when i'm already not a very intelligent and hardworking person?


My future seems unpredictable now and i dunn like this kind of feeling.

I have to ask myself all these questions again.

What do you want to achieve in short term, long term and what i wanna be?

My past answers: I want to get a degree (short term) then i will be a RM (too bad if u dunn understand what i mean) to earn enough capital (long term) and i want to open a cafe/ bakery shop in the future (i want to be an entreprenuer).

But now, i cant answer any of it now...


I'm so pathetic...