Long due "Reborn"

Written the following post 2 months ago. I didnt had time to finish it and it was saved my draft. The fact is i had a lot more drafts in my blog just that i didnt want/no time to publish.
Since that day onwards, i'm more prepare wat's coming in the future, though sometimes i wish the sequence of it wasnt this way.

For watever reasons, my moods and feelings been on a roller coaster ride. I tried to control it. I know this wasnt me. Perharps i should try Jing's way. Concealing it might helps.

In about 1 month plus, i will be heading HK for a short holiday. This year i went to places that is not top in my list. Nevertheless, being able to learn and get exposure of different countries is my favourite and expensive hobby. My only and keen vacation trip is hopefully in oct to Bintan for a complete getaway to rest my body and soul. I need a massage badly but i have to be patient for it.

I spent way too much this month. 1k worth of allowance and savings gone with the wind. I should be more discipline. Bills like insurance premium and outstanding holiday trip will haunt me in July. Maybe i can start on the air/wind diet? haha!

I also signed up for marathon runs in July/Aug for Shape Run 5km and StandChart in Dec for 10km. I know it's not a big deal. But everything should starts from small and gradually progress and increase with distance. I'm proud to say that i'm discipline enough to run every thursday. You can join me if you want. I'm running 2 rounds round my estate which is abt 3km. Not a big deal but at least i'm excerising. This week onwards i will be doing twice a week. Monday and Thursday 7.15pm. Call to join me. =P

End of my recent updates and here's wat i've saved draft 2 months ago.
Good night!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

29 April 2010

终于有时间坐下来写写心里 的感受还有最近的心情。


感觉就像重生。


终于可以对过去说再见了。


留下来的只是回忆而已。


At the very last moment, i've decided to share with Jing what happened and how i feel about my past relationship. I never really share much with her cause i was afraid that she might judge me, but thanks god i had her full support.

Of cuz i wanna thank my baby too, without questioning me when i told him that i met my ex. Love you so much!

It already 4 years, i felt really guilty for hurting my ex and broke up in the most cruel way that you can ever think of. But we will so young then. I never had the chance to apologies to him face to face and it always felt like a stone weighting me.

You might think that it's not necessary, but i do care about how a relationship ends.

I would never want to end a relationship without a full stop.

A story without ending is never a good story. Of cus relationship is never a book perharps just a chapter in your life. Nevertheless, i'm glad that i ended this long-due chapter of my life.

Before i enter into the next phase of my life, before i make any decision, a clear mind, a clear heart would make a better choice/decision so that my book my story can have a happy ending.

I met him on 8 April at Paragon coffee bean. Wrong location and wrong time because the construction works besides paragon was in full force and our conversation was almost inaudible. God likes to play tricks on me.

Unfortunately, on the same day, my dog was attacked by neighbour dogs which actually becomes a police case and he/she claims that my dog bitten him/her. That asides. Another story another day.

Anyway, it was definitely awkward. After 4 years without contact, he seems familiar and unfamiliar to me at the same time. Talk about what happen to his previous gf (after me) and how he landed with his current gf. I told him that finally he had a taste of what i had years ago when we broke up. I cried alittle (which i think i was shaken by the dogs fighting stuff i encounter in the morning) too. He also told me not to feel guity too cuz he had moved on (long ago) and happy and i should not felt that way.

I shouldnt say much, just that i'm sorry for her. I wouldnt be able to live through it.

He mostly said "Everything happens for a reason". I do know that and live with it. I'm grateful that we din get to a point when everything is possible and scamble at one point. I wun be able to handle it. But sadly our relationship ends almost as badly too.

After the conversation ended, he left and i was sitting there just to clear my thoughts and feeling before i left.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo